Heh...my friends and I like to go cruising to our New Kids on the Block tape, and I was joking that if I were ever to attempt suicide, I would just listen to them, and they would save my life because I would be laughing too hard to actually do it. ^_^ I know, I am silly!

I got my tattoo on Saturday, and I fucking love it! It is sooooo fucking cute, and a lot bigger and better than I thought it was going to be! YAY! =^..^=

I went to Milwaukee today with my Mammy...it was fun! I got lots o' gifties, and I am going to be making a Victorian St. Patrick's Day hat!

I am thinking about making my journal friends only (if I can figure out how to) because I am sick of some people reading it and using it against me and my friends. What I write in here should not incriminate people...they are my friends, and there business, as well as mine, does not need to be the focus point of some people's lives. Grow up.

Anyhoo, I love you all (or at least a majority of you), and if you know how to make this friend's only, let me know! I would greatly appreciate it!

~Spooky

Which character from Alice in Wonderland Are You? Cheshire Cat Cheshire cat confuses people for his amusement, but still, very funny! ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, and the momeraths outgrabe. Third Chorus!

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

It was awesome! I had a blast! I got some really kick ass prezzies! My mom bought me the life-sized Jack Skellington doll, and my friend Frankie and her parents got me an Alice in Wonderland purse, a baby Alice doll, and a Cheshire Cat stuffed animal. I loved my birthday, and my cake kicked ass!
I drew the pic that was on the cake, and I am thinking about getting it tattooed on me! ( Close-up of drawing )


It was really fun. I went to Club Impulse with my mom, Michael and Brittney for my first drink, then came home and drank some more! I did not get my tattoo yet, but I will soon, and I promise I will put a pic up of it! ^_~ Anyhoo, here are ( some more pictures! )
Well, hope you all enjoy the pics, and remember, Spooky loves you!
~Spooky

Well...I am, or was sick...I am getting better. My tonsils were extremely swollen, and it figures I would be sick around my birthday. Happens every fucking year. But, I think I will be better by Sunday...or at least I hope I will. I think I am going to wait to get my tattoo until Thursday, so I can go with Vicky and her friend can do it. My cake is going to be really cute! I got a pic on it that I drew, and I will put V-day and B-day pics up on here asap. Well, it will be fun to be 21, and I cannot wait to get drunk! Ummm...that is about all. Gotta lot of shit I gotta look up and take of, so, yeah, happy birthday to me.
~Spooky
Oh, Bryan and Michelle bought me "Depeche Mode: Devotional" on DVD...Rocks my mothafuckin' socks off!

I just read something that made me lose all respect for a certain someone. I am hurt more now than I ever was by you, and I hope to God that you get your shit together...fuck you for ever entering my life. And fuck you for lying to me. I am just glad that I found someone who actually gives a shit about me, and honestly means it when he tells me he loves me. That is more than what I can say about you. Have a great life and leave me out of it.

Well, Ziggy left today. I was a wreck! I sobbed. It was sad. But, the lady was so happy and greatful, so that is wonderful. The puppy's real name is Sparky, and he is deaf, and may be going blind. He belongs to her 7 year old son, and I am just very happy that the puppy has a good home to go back to, where he is extremely loved. I wish him the best...
My dad wants to get me a new puppy. He loved Ziggy a lot, too, and said that maybe, someday, I can get a little westie pup. I would love that!


Valentine's day went well. I went out to dinner with Scottie and Frankie. We had tons of fun and gave eachother cards and gifts. We played pool later on, and I learned some new tricks.

I just checked my Vampirefreaks profile and I have a 9.95 rating...geeee...people are weird to think I am that cute! =P

That is about it...I am a little too sad to write too much. I miss him sooooo much...

~Spooky

Ty and Bob found this adorable little puppy yesterday freezing it's tail off in the street. They brought him over, and my family and I fell in love with him (all except for Puppy...she wanted nothing to do with him!). He was precious! They decided to call him Ziggy Stardust, and I noticed that the name fit him perfectly because he had a Brown and a Blue eye (and I think I recall reading that Bowie's eyes are like that). He would not sleep unless he was cuddled up with me, and he ended up passing out on my chest. I had fun with that lil' pup! But, my mom called the Humane Society today to see if anyone called in a missing pup like him, and someone did. So now I must give him back. I am sad. But, I know if my pup ran away, I would want someone to give him/her back too. So, when I get home, it is bye bye Ziggy. He will be missed.

You scored as Loner. </td> Loner 100% Geek 88% Drama nerd 75% Punk/Rebel 63% Goth 63% Stoner 44% Ghetto gangsta 31% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 6% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

Meh...not much is going on...For the first time in my life, I have a Valentine to spend Valentine's day with, so that is cool. I usually break up with people before V day, or hook-up after, so this is all sorta new to me. It will be fun, though! ^_^

20 days until the big 21! And I can hardly wait! Alcohol+Tattoo=Very Happy Girl!

This weekend was a lot of fun, although my buddy was grounded...Frankie and I went shopping with her mom, and I got some new clothes. I also got some new clothes when I went shopping with my Mammy last night.

My hair is fading uber bad, and I hope I can dye it tonight or tomorrow before the Mardi Gras party at the club. That would rock!

Anyhoo, that is about all that is happening here in this Hell we call Wisconsin.

OH! Frankie got a New Kids on the Block tape, and we fucking love it! We love singing "Please Don't Go Girl" to eachother...I have never laughed so hard in my life!

~Spooky

Well, well...let's see...I had an exciting night last night thanks to a couple of wonderful friends! ^_~

Ummm, well, a certain someone has been calling my house all week, trying to get a hold of me...I guess he misses me or something, and lord knows I miss him... =[

I got my hair did! An it is sooooo cute! ^_^ I will try to put pics up...meh...

My birthday is less than a month away! Speaking of, I better look for some tattoo ideas! Toodles!

~Spooky

EH! I had a rough week last week. First off, on Friday (or maybe it was Thursday. Who knows. Whenever it was that I last updated this thing), my car broke down in Janesville. We were stranded. It was freezing. It sucked! Wef finally got home. The next day Frankie took my dad and I up to Janesville to get the car. It was the battery. We fixed it and it is fine. So, that was good. Then, I take her to her doctor's appointment, were we find out some really bad new. We were all upset, but we are doing well now. Then, Bob and Tyler came over. Tyler was cutting Frankie's hair and Bob decided to go to Janesville with John to run an "errand". We kept trying to call Bob, but he never answered the cell phone. Finally, we got ahold of Jessica, and she tells us that the house Bob was at got raided and Bob got arrested on drug charges. We flipped out, and realized that Bob had Tyler's car and Frankie's cell! We went to Janesville to get Ty's car and saw 2 cop cars parked by his car. He got in, and took off, and a cop followed. I freaked out remembering that he had presciption drugs in his car and 2 warrents. We got back to Beloit, and no Tyler. I was flipping out. Then Bob called. He did not get arrested. He has a court date. Then, I called Cathy's to tell her the news, and Tyler answers. They both came back over, and we partied, but the alcohol was all gone. I cut my finger really bad this week, it is snowing again, my body aches, and these past weeks have sucked ass! But, I still have my friends, so that is good.

I talked to my friend Brunner for the first time on the phone the other night. He sounds soooooo sexy! heh...he is fun to talk to!

Oh, it was sooooo cute! My Mammy said that she should start dressing goth. She said she was looking at my black shirt with all the safety pins in it, and wondered how it would look on her! CUTE!

I got my hair cut by Tyler. It is realllllly short. I love it. We are going to put a couple red streaks in it. Hot! <3!

AMANDA IS COMING TO VISIT MOI! I AM SOOOOO FUCKING HAPPY! YAY! <3!

Well, that is about it. I love you all, and I hope you all have better weeks than I have!

~Miss Spooky Meow!~

"...Visions of seduction lurking under my hat."
Let me see...

Got really fucked up the other night...puked everywhere...blech!

Went yesterday to get Frankie's tongue pierced! YAY!

Gonna party this weekend...YAY!

I love alcohol! YAY

...but I am not an alcoholic!

My birthday is next month, and I cannot wait! ^______^

Not much has happened...

Love you all!

~Miss Meow!~

Doctor's appointment tonight...Yippy Skippy! Actually, the pills seem to be working a bit, so maybe I can have the doc up my dosage. Oh, what I would give to never have a fucking migraine EVER AGAIN!

Christmas was great! I got tons of gifties, mainly Nightmare before Christmas stuff, and it rocked! I am not sure what I am doing for New Years...probably just watching movies, eating pizza and getting piss drunk...heh...too bad I will not have anyone to play with >=]


Went to Club 5 last night with Frankie...she had a blast! Saw Peaches and Emily! YAY! <3 Love! It was sooooo fun!

Bob was in the ER on Monday because he blacked out... I was sooo fucking scared...they think it might be his <3...=[

Hmmm...other than that, not much is going on...I hope you all have a great New Year, and remember that Spooky loves you all!
~Spooky ^_^

Found this on my friends photobucket gallery...it is from April when she put red streaks in my hair! YAY! ^____^

Stolen from Cariadwyn who stole it from bitchgoddessdm


Death Meme


**You're going to be executed; what do you want your last meal to be?**
Soy Turkey, mashed potatos with organic gravy, Brocolli cheese rice and a big bowl of cookies and cream icecream!


**If you were being led to the electric chair and the executioner says "any last requests?"**
Yeah...can I sit on your face?! Just kidding...I would request some eyeliner and a mirror...gotta look good for the crowd!


**Would you rather be burned, frozen or drowned?**
BURNED AT THE STAKE! YEAH! ^__^


**Describe what you think heaven should be like.**
Hmmm...all denominations and religions in ONE place...there is not hate, and the clouds are made of cotton candy...


**If you died this instant what would you regret not having done or accomplished?**
Not going to school again or owning my own business...oh, and not having sex in, like, FOREVER! OH! I also want to go to Ireland...REALLY BAD!


**What place would you like to die in?**
Ireland! I want to die in my lil' cottage on top of a hill of clover!


**Who will be the most upset when you die?**
My Mom, Brother and Dad, I think...


**How will people describe you at your funeral?**
Dead: "What the hell is she wearing?! And WHAT is up with the make-up?! She looks the same as she did when she was alive! PAPER WHITE!!!" =P
In life: Caring, compassionate, funny, a bit odd, but in a good way


**What would you want to be reincarnated as?**
Hmmm...A BAT! ^v^ I just hope it is not a fish...


**If you had to be buried, what outfit would you want to be buried in?**
One of my pretty Victorian gowns, one of my hats, a fancy necklace and cute platform shoes...I also want to be holding a rose...


**What music would you want to play at your funeral?**
Celtic music and classical (Canon in D). I also want the song "Time to Say Goodbye" by Sarah Brightman...oh, and Depeche Mode or Bauhaus <3. HA!


**If you had to commit suicide how would you do it?**
Hmmm...something creative...Probably something slow and painful...I think I would break into a torture museum and use something they had...


**If you had to have a tombstone, what would you want on it?**
I want the Tenniel illustration of Alice and The Cheshire Cat on it...or I want it to look old-fashioned with winged skull on it...


**If you could talk to a dead famous person, who would it be?**
First choice: Jack the Ripper, so I could know who he was and shake his hand
Second Choice: Lewis Carroll, because he rocked!
Third Choice: Ed Gein... ^_^

Hello all...not much going on. I went to the doctor, and he gave me some new meds. I am hoping they work, otherwise I do not know what I am going to do. I have tried everything. The only thing left to do is go in for some catscans or MRIs, but that is costly and I am not sure when I can get into a Neurologist. I found out, due to my OWN researching, that I have Photophobia. I know a lot of you are thinking "Great! Another PHOBIA to add to her list!" No, it is not a phobia like my fear of fish or mustard. This is the term given when your eyes are uber-sensitive to light. My eyes cannot handle light like most peoples can. My eyes constrict painfully, thus causing, I hope, my migranes. My eyes cannot filter out light as well as they used to, hence why I cannot go outside during the day or into brightly lit rooms without feeling an intense pain in my eyes and head. Hell, even to walk into a dark room with just a nightlight on is murder on them...Now, all I must do is find the cause of my photophobia (since the actual photophobia is a symptom of an underlying cause). Once I figure that out, I should be cured, and I will *hopefully* not have to put up with another 9 years of this hell.

My mom bought my bro and I some early Xmas prezzies...YAY! I got a Nightmare Before Christmas Anniversary clock (you know, the pretty ones in the glass dome with the little spinny things under the clock? No? oh well, it is pretty!), A new 5 cd disk player (mine and my bros to share), "Metropolis 2004" cd, "Critical Mass 3" cd, NBC stickers, lipgloss, and a squishy pillow! I am getting the Jack comforter next week, and she wants to buy me the NBC Jack and Sally lamp for my room! ^__^ Kick Ass!

Oh, here is a poem I wrote the other day...meh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beautiful Girl 12/01/04
Her life is so easy,
Or so it seems.
She's so full of hope
And so full of dreams.
She's always so happy.
Always with a smile,
And I haven't seen her cry
In quite a long while.
She always does what's best.
Never causes any harm.
And yet I wonder
About the cut on her arm...
"Life is too hard,"
I once heard her say,
"I just don't think
I can face another day!"
Surely this is not said
By the beautiful girl I see!
The one who's life is as perfect
As perfect would be!
Why does she cry so?
Why does she hate her life?
Why is all the happiness
Suddenly replaced by strife?
She tends to think too much
About her haunted past.
About her shattered dreams,
And love that never lasts.
Now she feels ugly,
Worthless and used.
She feels she's been violated
And utterly abused.
Her once beautiful face
Has lost it's lovely glow,
What is the reason why?
No one will ever know.
The reasons are locked
Deep down in her heart
And every day of her life
They tear her apart.
She's sick of hiding the pain,
Gazing through a facade.
Oh! Beautiful girl!
You are nothing but a fraud!
She used to be so beautiful to me,
Now she's the one that I fear,
The girl I once knew so well,
The girl in the mirror.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fun lil' ( Quiz thingy...Take ME! )
Love you all!
~Spooky!

"...AND FUCKING AND SUCKING ON Brad and Janet..."
HA! Found this on Kittylavender's LJ and I had to do it! Oh, and about the cast thing...I DID play Betty Monroe in Madison one night...ha!

Rocky Horror LiveJournal Show by lmar4711
Username
Are you a RHPS Virgin?	YesNoHuh?Hell no! I'm on a cast!
Dr Frank N Furter	gaewiccanboi
Janet Weiss	_rapebigbird
Brad Majors	blackendwings
Riff Raff	cariadwyn
Magenta	joe_christ
Columbia	riiaa
Rocky Horror	teevee
Dr Scott	spitandrape
Eddie	cemeteryfetish
Criminologist	fabledangel
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Oh, and Depeche Mode Remixes rocks my socks! I love the remix of "Halo" by Goldfrapp and the "Enjoy the Silence" Reinterpreted by Mike Shinoda...'tis great!

Off to the doctor again so they can tell me they do not know what causes my so-called "migranes"...eh, I really need to go to a neurologist!

Love you all!
~Spooky

Well...I went to Lana's visitation, and it was really sad. She looked so old. I almost broke down, but I fought back the tears. It was hard, though. Seeing my brother in so much pain. Seeing her friends and family weeping for her. Thinking about how if she had not bridged the gap between father and son, I would not be lucky enough to have my brother Curt in my life. I am so thankful to her for having such a great heart. She pieced my life back together again, and I will always be in her debt. She will be sadly missed...

I got to go out for Chinese afterwards, so that was fun. The whole family (Mom, Dad, DJ, Curt and I). We then went to Baker's Square for some pie...MMMM! Delicious pie there, I must say!

Curt bought me the Depeche Mode Remixed CD...I cannot wait to get it! ^__^

Things have been hectic and a little sad, and I keep thinking of things I should not think about anymore. It is just so hard to let go sometime. And I have come to realise that I do not so much miss the one I loved, but rather the feeling of being loved. I know I have felt like this before, but I think that I mainly get depressed over certain people because I no longer have that reassurance that I mean something to someone, and that I am important. That is why I am so quick to forgive. I hate to lose friends, and that is why I am having such a hard time moving on...with any relationship I had, for that matter. I know a majority of the people in my life or the people who WERE in my life are/were very destructive, not only to themselves, but to others (namely me), and that I am/was better off with out them, yet I cannot seem to hold grudges. I have been fucked over and used too many times to count, yet I still fogive and forget. They basically rape my soul for all it is worth, yet out pours the love that a million years could not erase. And for what? To get used all over again. To have my heart ripped out by everyone I have ever known. Love is nothing but a word that people say to get you into bed and use you. That is all I have come to know, and that is all I will ever know. I might as well get used to the fact that every guy I have ever met was a disappointment, only wanting me for a cheap thrill, going at numerous expenses to get it, whether it be by lying, cheating, materialism or force. EVERY man in my life has used me, violated me and crushed me. I do want love again, but I am scared. What will happen to me heart if I give into my childlike fascination with love? I know I will only have a broken heart to mend. And that, my dear friends, is the ultimate reality. Life is not meant to find love and live for love...no, it is meant to live life with the least shattered heart. Only those with their hearts intact survive, and I fear I am out of the race.

~Spooky

Well, My older Brother came to town, but not under good conditions. His aunt, whom was like his big sister, ODed on Heroine and died Friday. I was shocked. We all thought she got her act together, but I guess people do bizarre things when they are depressed. He drove out as soon as he heard, only to find out that the funeral was put off until Monday, because his mom mistakenly thought his birthday was on Wed. (the day the funeral was supposed to be), which it was on Tuesday. He had to drive his ex-boyfriend Barney and Barney's new boyfriend back to Philly for Thanksgiving and is coming back by plane today. I will probably see him tomorrow.

Thanksgiving was good...I had a soy turkey, so I was happy...I do not really want to think about all the turkeys that were killed to feed everyone yesterday... T_T Oh well...not much else is going on...I am supposed to go to a birthday party, a Christmas parade, and a hotel party today...I dunno how I am gonna pull that one off...I will just have to try to balance time between all 3 events, I guess. Well, that is all...<3!
~Spooky

I just talked online to my big brother, and I found out that he is in Chicago right now, and he is coming to see us tomorrow! I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED! I love him SOOOOO much and I cannot wait to see him...I wonder if he is bring his boyfriend...I love his boyfriend...sweet kid! ^_______^ YAY!

Umm...Oh! I am a lil' pissed off at a friend of mine. He is acting like he runs my life, and I have never even met him in person! He yells at me and treats me like shit, for reasons beyond my control, and it makes me mad. He reminds me too much of one of my exboyfriends...GRRR! I hate people like that. I dunno what I am going to do. Heaven knows I cannot stand up for myself...

Watched "Depeche Mode 101" yesterday, and GOD DAMN DAVE GAHAN IS HOT! heh...I love him... <3! I need to send my Bauhaus "Gotham" tape back for a new one so I can FINALLY watch it and see Peter's Uber-sexy ass! =P

That is about all...as far as emotions go, I am pretty stable. I only get sad on occassion, when the wound opens up again...hopefully the pain will stop soon...

Forgot...I watched the "One Night in Paris" sex tape with my friends...Funny shit...she NEVER acts like she enjoys it, one time while she is sucking the dude's dick, she tells him she does not want to do it anymore, and she bends his dick back...he calls her a bitch...ha! Then, when he is performing oral on her, she looks like she is sleeping! Funny shit...just though I would share...

Much love to all of you, and have fun on Thanksgiving...poor turkeys! T_T I got a vegetarian Turkey loaf thingy for Thanksgiving! YAY! *hugs*!
~Spooky